The purest form of comedy is when a human being falls down. As long as they don't hurt themselves too badly, it's the funniest thing in the world. Why, do you ask, would I find something so simple so enjoyable? Honestly, my sense of humour isn't that juvenile. I appreciate the most sophisticated of stand-up comedians, and well-crafted witty prose. But watching a bipedal blunder, resulting in a close encounter of the concrete kind, speaks volumes of an individual's character.
This is pure comedy because there are no deliberate egos or attitudes involved - just innate ones. You'd think since most humans have been on two legs since around the age of 1, they'd have mastered the rhythmic left-right pedestrian procedure. But nope, regardless of gender, class, or race, people still find ways to fall on their faces, even if it's a leisurely Sunday stroll through the park. And you have all done it. Tripping on a sideway crack. Slipping on ice. Falling up stairs (which has to be one of the biggest human fumbles that exists). And while the initial miscue is definitely laugh-worthy, the immediate reaction thereafter is "GOLD, JERRY!"
How people react to their strutting slip-up speaks volumes about their character. I think the most common response is to laugh it off. This is the easiest and probably least comical thing to do. Although it says, "Hey, I'm laid back. I just totally blew one of the easiest tasks as a human being, but whatever. I'm still alive. I'm glad you got a little chuckle out of it!" That's what I usually do. It's easy, it's funny, and it proves that you really don't take life too seriously. And I really dig that. Because shit, you gotta totally blow it to trip walking up stairs.
Then you have the people that feign some kind of feeble injury. I really don't know what to say about those types. Attention-depraved? Who knows. If you're an able-bodied adolescent or adult, there's no way you can seriously hurt yourself falling a foot and a half to the ground, fully braced. Maybe if you have a prior condition, sure you can mess yourself up. But honestly, suck it up, people. Be happy that you made so many of us smile. That's all the attention we want to give you.
There are many more human reactions we could roll through. But the BEST - the absolute best - are the people who take themselves way too seriously. The egos that crowd out all the rest. You'll know them when you see them tumble. Quick to spring back upright. Dust themselves off as fast as possible. Give a quick glance around to see who was watching. And if someone was, they'll be sure to blame some other person or inanimate object in close proximity. This process alone is what I live to see on the city streets. We are all prone to the most basic human error here, people. No one is immune. Get over yourself.
I could go on about this forever. You might wonder what inspired such a bizarre post; so I'll tell you it's due in large part to a conversation I had with a friend recently, and my fandom of one particular television show - America's Funniest Home Videos. Tune in every Sunday night!
The weblog is a very compelling recent phenomenon. On one hand, you have the rapid proliferation of tonnes of intriguing new ideas and experiences, shared across the globe. But on the other, you have a totally self-righteous, narcissistic outlet for people to digitally puke out the most mundane details of their days. I've been spewing out my views and stories in this space for over a year now. While I've tried to keep it as interesting as possible, there have been occasional less-than-stellar posts. But even Reggie Miller missed a shot every once in a while, right?
Anyway, below are a few of the blogs I frequent the most. These are all friends and acquaintances, and since I visit their online diaries on a regular basis, they deserve a shout-out. It's especially convenient when you're looking for updates on people abroad. Most of them are linked on the left, but here I'll give a little more background.
First and foremost is my brother Musky. He's been in the Cook Islands in the South Pacific Ocean (on a map, find Hawaii, then go southwest) since February. To keep busy he's doing environmental research and learning the intricacies of Maori dance. He'll be back later this summer, but dig his blog for what life is like on a tiny island on the other side of the world.
To read about another stranger in a strange land, check out Kearnesy in Korea. This is my good buddy Terry Kearnes from Lakefield, Ontario who's on a year-long contract teaching English in Ansan, South Korea. He's always got a great story to tell about being part of the white minority in an Asian country. Funny stuff.
There's another dude from Lakefield abroad. That's Chicken and he's in Australia. He doesn't update his blog that often, but whenever he does he's always got some great party experience to share. Lucky bastard.
Another great storyteller is Vancouver-based Caaleb, my Weather Network colleague. Some of the most hilarious day-to-day observations I've ever seen in a blog. Every time I need a good chuckle I know I can count on him. This dude also knows his tunes, so check it out for some good music recommendations.
For more great social commentary, check out Chunk, the mastermind behind this website. Very sharp-looking blog with some great morsels of wisdom here and there. But to keep it balanced, he also injects morsels of gongery once in a while.
A new blog that just popped up is my buddy Matt's, a high school teacher in northeast Ohio. I met this dude while I was living in Akron two years ago, and he's got some very refreshing political views in the corrupt face of the current American administration.
An up-and-coming photoblog is Ian's. He's a stellar shooter, so dig his pics. For you computer heads, dig what my old buddy from Germany Matthias has to say. It's way over my head, but some of you might find it useful.
Finally, for now, we have the esteemed LOGAN. The fact that his site even exists sometimes makes me question whether this is still even real life. A hardline Luddite from way back (dude is an Arborist and knows just as much about nature as my ancestors), he had a harsh hate-on for all things technological, ESPECIALLY computers. But we can all benefit from this recent about-face. Logan has embraced the internet as an outlet for some of his unique outlooks.
That's it for now...I'm leaving out some others, but I will post about them later. If you have more to recommend, please leave them in the comments! I'd really like to check them out.
Peace for now.
W.
You're keeping in step
In the line
Got your chin held high and you feel just fine
Because you do
What you're told
But inside your heart it is black and it's hollow and it's cold
-Nine Inch Nails, "The Hand that Feeds"
Don't call it a comeback, but everyone's favourite industrial rock overlord Trent Reznor is back. A whole lot has happened in the six years since The Fragile came out, so dude has obviously had some time to think. His new album is now on the market, and although it's not as stellar as many fans expected, a few of us were fortunate enough to hear some of the songs up close and personal.
With a fresh new lineup containing some experienced (Twiggy Ramirez, bass) and newer (Aaron North, formerly of the Icarus Line, guitar) talent, Nine Inch Nails rolled into Toronto Tuesday night for a relatively intimate evening at the Kool Haus. For the initial With Teeth tour, they're hitting clubs in major markets across the continent, rather than arenas. And that definitely made for a unique and nostalgiac experience.
It wasn't the usual visual spectacle. The stage was very basic and stripped-down, but it definitely fit the experience. The set was by and large strictly the rockers, and given the small venue, lasers and video screens would have been nothing but distracting. NIN tore through a set of new ones, the radio hits, and even a few obscure ones that I didn't even expect. It was only my third time seeing them in the past 11 years, and although it wasn't the best, it was a refreshing new live experience from such an established live act of that calibre. That said, I'm still totally stoked for the arena tour this summer/fall.
Nine Inch Nails, 05.10.05, Kool Haus, Toronto:
The Frail
The Wretched
You Know What You Are?
The Line Begins to Blur
Piggy
Terrible Lie
Burn
Closer
Reptile
The Big Come Down
Gave Up
The Day the World Went Away
Suck
Even Deeper
Wish
Hurt
The Hand That Feeds
Starfuckers
Head Like a Hole
May has always been a special month for me. Three of my favourite people in the world celebrate the anniversaries of their mortal entries into this bizarre realm this month. That is, my little bro Gig, my Mom Mona and my Dad John all celebrate birthdays. 16, 49, and 50 (!) respectively. Now if I really was on point, or the least bit considerate, I would have carefully composed personalized well-wishes for each, and posted them on the appropriate days. But alas, I didn't. No excuses. I am quite the busy lad in my professional life. And my personal life is also almost as hectic, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't be able to make time to post greetings on their special days for the rest of the Internet to read!
So anyway, here it is guys: a blanket birthday wish. You know I love you all so dearly and my life would be unbearably empty without you. If it's any consolation, I will be back up north throughout this month to give you each your deserved hugs and gifts. Sometimes I feel so distant (geographically) from you guys, but the love I share with you seems to emaciate those kilometres into mere steps.
Happy Birthday, and see you soon.